Question: For many years, I have been visiting my 82-year-old mother every week. We have always enjoyed good conversations about our lives, books we read, hobbies we shared and current events. I have enjoyed her energy, stories, and wisdom. Lately, it feels like she is more withdrawn, and our visits no longer feel the same. She has been making statements like “I have lived too long” or “I wish I could die in my sleep.” Are statements like this part of aging? Should I be concerned?
Answer: Depression and suicidality are not a normal part of aging and should never be ignored. As people age, they may encounter several new challenges to navigate in their everyday lives. Many people find themselves experiencing physical and mental challenges that can feel very overwhelming. For some, this can lead to depression and powerlessness. Statements such as “I have lived too long” or “I wish I could die in my sleep” can be very serious.
September 8-14 is National Suicide Prevention Week. Justyna Slezak, LICSW, is AgeSpan’s Director of Behavioral Health Integration and shares these warning signs that may indicate someone is thinking about self-harm:
- Loss of interest in activities they enjoyed in the past
- Neglecting self-care and medical care
- Lacking concern about safety
- Making or changing their will and giving away possessions
- Arranging long term care for their pets
- Returning to substance use after a period of recovery
- Stockpiling pills
- Having new access to weapons
- Avoiding social activities
- Making funeral plans
- Changes in mood
Asking direct questions such as “Are you thinking about suicide?” and “How can I help you?” can be the first step to letting people know that you care for them. Engaging in active listening, acknowledging their feelings and emotions, and connecting with the person can also ease loneliness and isolation. Follow up with a phone call or text message and ask if there is anything you can do to help.
If you or your loved ones are experiencing suicide thoughts, always connect them to emergency services (911). There is also a national suicide and crisis line that can be accesses simply by calling 988.
Lastly, it is crucial to pay attention to your own well-being while taking care of others. Supporting someone experiencing suicidal thoughts may have an impact on you so it may be helpful to you to seek support as well. AgeSpan has many resources and services for caregivers and older adults.
Are you caring for an older adult or need help finding healthy aging resources? Our experienced staff is available to help. Visit us online at www.agespan.org. You can also call 800-892-0890 or email info@agespan.org.
Joan Hatem-Roy is the chief executive officer of AgeSpan, which serves the following cities and towns: Amesbury, Andover, Billerica, Boxford, Chelmsford, Danvers, Dracut, Dunstable, Georgetown, Groveland, Haverhill, Lawrence, Lowell, Marblehead, Merrimac, Methuen, Middleton, Newbury, Newburyport, North Andover, Peabody, Rowley, Salisbury, Salem, Tewksbury, Tyngsboro, Westford, and West Newbury.
First published in the Eagle-Tribune.
