Q. My mom is in her 80s and has always loved the holidays. This year, she says she’s just not in the mood to celebrate. Should I be concerned about this? How should I handle it?

A. The holiday season can be a time of joy and celebration, but it can also bring up feelings of sadness and stress. The loss of loved ones, physical limitations, and other changes can make feeling festive a challenge. These feelings of sadness, loneliness, or depression are often called the “holiday blues.”

Here are some ways you can help the older adult in your life who might be facing the holiday blues.

Check in regularly – Make time to connect with your loved one on a regular basis and be mindful of any changes in mood.

Include them in holiday traditions – Whether it’s decorating, cooking, or attending religious services, including your loved one can help them feel valued and connected.

Offer help – Holiday to-do lists can be stressful. You can help by assisting with shopping, decorating, or rides to holiday events.
Encourage self-care – Remind your loved one to get enough rest, eat healthy meals, exercise regularly, and spend time doing things they enjoy.

Be patient – Have compassion and try not to judge. The holiday season can be emotionally challenging for us all. Sometimes we just need someone to listen.

While occasional sadness is normal, persistent or severe symptoms could be a sign of something more. Watch for signs that professional guidance may be needed, such as:

• Change in appetite
• Sleeping too much or too little
• Avoiding friends, family, or social situations
• Extreme mood changes

If you notice any of these things, or just have a feeling something is not right, make an appointment for your mom to see her doctor.

Remember, simply being present, listening, and showing compassion can make a meaningful difference. While the holidays can be challenging, small gestures of connection and support can help your loved one feel seen and valued. I wish you and your family warmth, comfort, and moments of joy this season.

Are you caring for an older adult or need help finding healthy aging resources? Our experienced staff is available to help. Visit us online at www.agespan.org. You can also call 800-892-0890 or email info@agespan.org. 

Joan Hatem-Roy is the chief executive officer of AgeSpan, which serves the following cities and towns: Amesbury, Andover, Billerica, Boxford, Chelmsford, Danvers, Dracut, Dunstable, Georgetown, Groveland, Haverhill, Lawrence, Lowell, Marblehead, Merrimac, Methuen, Middleton, Newbury, Newburyport, North Andover, Peabody, Rowley, Salisbury, Salem, Tewksbury, Tyngsboro, Westford, and West Newbury.