Ask Joan: Not a fun conversation, but talking about wills is important

Q. I just learned that my best friend and her husband don’t have wills. I couldn’t believe it! What should I say to convince them that this is something they really need to do?
A. Wills aren’t the most pleasant things to talk about, but they are so important. Good for you for pursuing this with your friend! She is not alone in putting it off. A recent poll by AARP found that only about half of adults aged 50-plus have a will. But taking the time to write one now can save your loved ones a huge amount of time, money, and heartache later.
Remind your friend that without a will, the courts decide who will handle her affairs and how her property will be divided. That process can be more complicated, more expensive, and much harder on those who are grieving. With a will, your friend gets to choose the person she trusts most to handle her affairs and to decide who receives her assets. She can also make sure her pets go to someone who will love and care for them. If she has minor children, a will allows her to name the person she wants to raise them if something should happen.
If your friend needs even more inspiration, to act, let her know that August is National Make a Will Month, so it’s the perfect time to do it. Here are a few steps to get started:
Choose the method: You can use one of the free tools online to create a simple will or reach out to an estate attorney for help.
List your assets: Make a list of your physical property, financial assets, valuable or sentimental items.
Choose your beneficiaries: Clearly identify who should receive each item. It can be a good idea to include your loved ones in this step, to avoid confusion or surprise down the road.
Choose an executor: This is the person who will carry out your final wishes. This can be a complicated job, so select someone who’s reliable, organized, and trustworthy.
Name a guardian: If you have minor children, name someone who would care for them. This is a big responsibility, so be sure to discuss it with your guardian to make sure they’re willing.
Remember your pets: Don’t forget to name a caretaker for your pets. Again, be sure to ask a potential caregiver first.
Inform your executor: Once your will is signed, store it in a safe place. Be sure to share the location with your executor.
Once your friend’s will is in place, she might even want to look into a broader estate plan – but that’s a conversation for another day. Just taking this step is one of the kindest gifts she can give to those she loves.
Are you caring for an older adult or need help finding healthy aging resources? Our experienced staff is available to help. Visit us online at www.agespan.org. You can also call 800-892-0890 or email info@agespan.org.
Joan Hatem-Roy is the chief executive officer of AgeSpan, which serves the following cities and towns: Amesbury, Andover, Billerica, Boxford, Chelmsford, Danvers, Dracut, Dunstable, Georgetown, Groveland, Haverhill, Lawrence, Lowell, Marblehead, Merrimac, Methuen, Middleton, Newbury, Newburyport, North Andover, Peabody, Rowley, Salisbury, Salem, Tewksbury, Tyngsboro, Westford, and West Newbury.
First published in the Eagle-Tribune.
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