Ask Joan – Weekly Q and A Column

Q:  My husband is seriously ill and the long-term prognosis is not very encouraging. The physician involved in his care has decided he is not a suitable candidate for surgery due to his age. My adult children disagree and believe their father will not live much longer without the surgery. They are also upset with…

Q:  I’ve been wearing glasses since I was in grade school. I always had yearly examinations and updated my glasses whenever there was a change in my vision. Since I have been on Medicare I have gone for longer periods of time before visiting my Opthamologist because of insurance coverage. Lately I have been noticing…

Q:  My widowed 92-year-old mother continues to live in her own home. Her health has been deteriorating, while I hope she will still have years to live I am realistic at the same time. I will have the responsibility of cleaning out the house when she passes or requires nursing home care whichever comes first….

Q:  Over the past year I have been giving serious thought to relocating to a warmer climate. My friends and family don’t think this is a good idea since I am widowed and would be all alone in a new area. I am relatively healthy and so far fairly independent. I would like suggestions of…

Q:  My mother and her neighbors were without electricity for more than 4 days. All of the food in the refrigerator was spoiled and had to be thrown out. Her housekeeper is making a list for the grocery store to replace the items lost. She called and asked me if there was anyway to recoup…

Q:  Last Christmas several family members all pitched in to buy my elderly mother a top of the line laptop and printer. We thought this would be a good way for her to stay in touch with all of her grandchildren who are in college or have moved away for new jobs. She took a…

Q: As an aging adult I am sadly aware of the number of friends and relatives who have passed away over the last few years. What has come as a big shock to me is two close friends have recently been hospitalized for cardiac events. Both of these individuals appeared to be healthy for their…

Many years ago my mother casually mentioned to me that she wanted to be cremated when she dies. My step-father was alive at the time and he was adamantly against this. My mother’s health is failing and I have told my step-siblings of my mother’s wishes. Their beliefs are in line with their late father’s…

Q. After a long wait an apartment in elder housing finally came available for my father. We thought it would be best to move him to be closer to where we live. Both my husband and I are working so it wasn’t feasible for him to move in with us since he needs more support…

Q.  More than 40 years ago I was in an abusive relationship. Very few people are aware of the circumstances because I was embarrassed and ashamed of what was happening to me. Eventually I was able to move on with my life, met and married a wonderful man. The problem is I have occasional nightmares and…